Two days after Christmas, many of us are still on vacation, engaging in a leisurely succession of whatever momentary, non-sustained activities we prefer. This includes me. I’ve finished two books in the last 2 days, with plans for more in the week to come. Regular consumption of pie, chocolate, cookies and other delectable munchies is also on the agenda, as well as some movies, conversation, eventual traveling back home, etc. Accordingly, the “Twitter Personality of the Week” feature will return with standard coverage next week, on Monday, January 3, but in the meantime, I thought we’d do something a little different today.
This is not a claim I can stake for very many accounts I follow on Twitter, but I was relatively certain I remembered the general time frame when @Racebusters tweets started popping up. I verified via the main website that I was correct: early March of this year. I became an instant fan. A few months later, after this column had run a few times, Kevin Eder suggested that I do a feature on @Racebusters at some point. The idea has ruminated for a while, but I have concluded that the time has arrived.
You will discover, in the ensuing back-and-forth, that @Racebusters operates true to form here, twisting every pronouncement or question that I, as a conservative, will formulate into some abomination that couldn’t be further from what I intended to say. All I have to say is this: If the following seems too farcical to be real, study up on the likes of Al Sharpton, Jesse Jackson, Louis Farrakhan, Michael Eric Dyson, Leo Terrell, Roland Martin (of CNN…sorry), Kanye West and Twitter’s own Theron K. Cal (@RealBrother0003).
It has been said that the genius of truly effective comedy is its reliance on fundamental reality. This is why @Racebusters is hilariously effective. On a daily basis, what one would hope is only outrageous race-baiting unfolds in real time, again and again, in what all too often passes for “dialogue” among today’s purported “civil rights leaders.” @Racebusters realizes this and utilizes it to his advantage.
10 Questions for Racebusters
1. First, in a mild attempt at pleasantry…how was your Christmas?
A “mild” attempt at pleasantry? How was my Christmas? Two things strike me here, Glen. First, why am I only deserving of a “mild” attempt at pleasantry? I think we both know why, don’t we? Racism. Second, why do you assume I celebrated Christmas? I’ll have you know that I am celebrating Kwanzaa. Your attempt to indoctrinate me into the racist Republican celebration that is Christmas is just another example of the belief of racists like you that people of color must conform and exist as you want us to or face what you really desire: the removal of all non-whites from society.
2. It seems to me that most of America has moved beyond these issues with which you remain so obsessed. Don’t you habitually overstate the “problem of racism” in America?
You don’t fool me, Glen. I caught the way you use the word “habitually” to imply that all people of color have bad habits (such as drug addiction and alcoholism) in an effort to marginalize them. Nice try, racist. You’ll have to try harder to fool me. Also, the fact that you felt you needed to put “problem of racism” in quotes shows that you, like the other racist Republicans, think that you can absolve yourselves of your racist past by acting as if the problem is gone. However, I know that the racist Republicans are merely biding your time so that you can launch your final assault against people of color in an effort to eliminate them.
3. One of my favorite authors is Thomas Sowell, an African-American conservative. He wrote a book titled Black Rednecks and White Liberals. Probably, if a white conservative had written this, he’d be tarred and feathered. In fact, I’m a bit afraid to carry this book around anywhere, but why should I be?
Of course, Thomas Sowell is one of your favorite authors. Like all Conservatives, he’s also a racist. I also am not a fan of the racist innuendo you have attempted to employ. “Tarred and feathered?” Really? You didn’t think I would see right through that racist remark? Apparently, pouring tar on someone is not good because, of course, tar is African-American in color. So, in order to make it better, you wish to take nice, soft white feathers to cover up the African-American color which you detest.
Secondly, the reason you and all other Conservatives like to carry around books by Thomas Sowell is it makes you feel like slave owners. You think that by carrying his book you have reinstituted a clandestine version of slavery. You are fearful that someone with his finger firmly on the pulse of race relations in this country like myself will let everyone know what you are really up to.
4. I think Al Sharpton is one of the most immoral and opportunistic people alive in America today. I’m guessing you probably disagree?
Reverend Al Sharpton is one of the great leaders of our time. His fight to bring truth and justice in a bipartisan, fair and non-extortive manner is the stuff legends are made of. You fear men like Reverend Sharpton because his message of equality speaks to so many. A man like Reverend Sharpton, who seeks no personal or financial gain from his work, is a threat to the very racist institutions that you and the rest of the racist Republicans have created. Also, don’t think I didn’t notice how you intentionally left out the title of “Reverend” from his name. This is nothing more than another attempt by you to demean the bastion of truth that is the Reverend Al Sharpton.
5. I was wondering about some of the people you have “called on” to help renounce “racism” when you find it. The Dalai Lama, for instance, is Asian. Also, I never heard of Plaxico Burress or that dude from the “Love Boat.”
Of course you “wonder” about them; they’re people of color. Racist Republicans like yourself are always wondering about people of color. You wonder how many different ways you can oppress them. You wonder how you can continue to pass racist legislation that only helps the rich and continues the failed policies of the last ten years. You also wonder how in the world you will defeat the post-racial President Obama in 2012.
Plaxico Burress is a former NFL football player and the dude from the Love Boat is Isaac. He was a bartender. If you’d turn your television on for a few minutes, you would have known who they were, but I guess between your militia meetings and racist Tea Party rallies, you probably don’t have that kind of time.
6. I always forget if your buddy @RealBrother0003 has 3 or 4 zeroes in his Twitter handle. It’s sort of metaphorical, though, isn’t it? A lot of zeroes for someone who fancies himself as some sort of influencer?
@Realbrother0003 is not my buddy. I am not surprised that a racist like yourself would assume he was. Most racists do think that all people of color are friends, just like you think we all look alike. He is not an influencer of any kind; instead, he is an embarrassment to the real fight against racism. He has no grasp of issues or policy and merely pollutes the atmosphere with his nonsensical rants that have no basis in fact, logic, or basic grammar. As a matter of fact, I suspect that he is a racist Republican plant that was placed on Twitter in an effort to make people think that all African-Americans are as ignorant and foolish as him.
7. I think my favorite column you ever wrote was that one about starting wars and losing them on purpose so gay soldiers would die. WOW. That was…out there. Where do you concoct this stuff?
I don’t concoct anything. I merely speak the truth. If you think that by saying my analysis is concocted or flawed that you can discredit me, you are sorely mistaken. I simply take the facts as they are, analyze them, and reach the only logical conclusion to anything a Republican says or does: racism. For too long, racists like you have tried to dismiss deep thinkers like me in the hopes that our message will be diluted. Not anymore; I am onto you and you can no longer keep me silent.
8. Oliver Willis is another one who, frankly, rivals you for an ability to mine non-existent memes from everyday conduct among Republicans and most average Americans. You’re probably a fan of his and his organization, Media Matters?
I reject the premise of your question. First of all, NO ONE rivals @racebusters in exposing and fighting racism. Secondly, this is a classic racist attempt to pit two people of color against one another in hopes we destroy one another, much like you would like to destroy all things of color. For years, racists like yourself have used racist social and economic policies in an effort to create environments that are conducive to African-American on African-American crime, hoping we would assist you in your attempted destruction of us. I will not participate in your racist reindeer games. Next question.
9. Is there such a thing as a non-racist conservative? Anywhere? Ever?
No, there isn’t. Conservatives are always racist. Even dead ones.
10. What would your ideal world look like?
My ideal world is one where racist Republicans are no longer using strong-arm tactics to impose their racist rules on people of color in society in an attempt to continue the cycle of institutional racism they have created. For years, they have used the racist right-wing controlled media to convict many African-Americans leaders and role-models in the court of public opinion, thus ensuring they can never receive a fair trial. Tiger Woods, Michael Vick and O.J. Simpson are three examples that immediately come to mind. All of these men are completely innocent and were framed by racist Republicans in an attempt to cast aspersions on all people of color. The O.J. Simpson case is particularly troubling because even after Mr. Simpson defeated the racist Republican court machine, they framed him once again in a truly vindictive fashion as payback for beating their racist court system. Any time a person of color has significant achievements in America, the racist Republicans roll out their hate machine to dismantle them. Only when the racism that permeates from every facet of racist, Republican-controlled society is eradicated will my ideal world be achieved. I know that I cannot do this alone. This is why I am calling on Rep. Sheila Jackson Lee (D- North & South Vietnam), soon-to- be former Congressman Alan Grayson (D-FL), boxing promoter Don King, Biz Markie, and Lando Calrissian to join me in the never-ending crusade against the racist Republican attempts to eradicate all things of color from the world. Yes We Can!!