Twitter Personality of the Week #37: 10 Questions for Fingers Malloy (@FingersMalloy)

One thing about Fingers Malloy: You sit up and take notice when he walks into the room. Hair like that simply refuses to be ignored or sidelined, as does the accompanying persona of its owner.

I remember noticing Fingers in various sectors of the Marriott Wardman hotel at CPAC 2010, having no idea who this character might be. I then discovered a couple of months later that he not only resided in the same state as me, but made his home a mere 40 miles or so from my town. Be that as it may, I had to go all the way to Las Vegas (to Right Online) last summer before we formally met.

Fingers Malloy is one of the most effortlessly offbeat guys I’ve ever met. He begins with an artfully innocent facial expression and by the time he concludes a sentence, everyone within earshot is doubled over in belly laughter. In comedy, timing is everything. The ability to deliver a line with deadpan alacrity is a gift, and Fingers cultivates it with skill.

I’ve spent a bit of time getting to know him over the last few months…much of it while on layovers in airports here and there (true story). There is more to Fingers Malloy than meets the eye. There is a type of comedic styling that is rooted in sheer silliness. This is not always bad, but it is also not what I have observed in Fingers. A basic understanding of human nature, with all of its capabilities and foibles, is endemic to the best among our race…and that is what I have learned my friend Fingers Malloy, truly possesses, although this sensibility is obscured at times, under a cloak of mirth.

You need to follow this man and then find a way to get acquainted with him. Nary a dull moment will ensue.

10 Questions for Fingers Malloy

1. I’d get murdered (figuratively, at least) if I didn’t lead with this question! Why was the trademark Mohawk there for a while, yet now its absence is very conspicuous?    

I can’t believe I caught so much flack for this on Twitter and Facebook (all good natured).     

I have had a Mohawk now for about 4 years. But my hair grows so fast that it quickly becomes what the kids call a “faux-hawk.” From time to time, I shave it all off. I made the mistake of putting a picture up on Facebook and Twitter of myself after I shaved my head–and all hell broke loose.  

It’s nice that people notice things like that and I will make sure to bring the Mohawk back soon. But I’m tempted to let it grow into a Caesar. Because the kids love that TV show Friends with that guy Ross. I hope it never gets cancelled. 

2. When did you first come to the realization that you had some propensity for humor and how did you begin to put that into action? 

I was a nerdy class clown in school. I would sit in the back of the classroom and do impersonations. My English teacher would ask me to read a couple of paragraphs in our book when we were all reading aloud, and I would bust into my impression of Sammy Davis Junior. You haven’t lived until you have heard Sammy Davis Jr. discuss conjunctions. (Note to everyone under 30 years old, Mr. Davis was a famous singer/dancer/actor in the mid to late 20th century.)                                                

I made people laugh in school and I liked that feeling. After graduating from high school I went off to community college–and in my spare time dabbled in stand-up comedy. I played all the big rooms; a Holiday Inn in Saginaw, Michigan, a few comedy clubs and bars and even a college gig. Over a period of a few years, I learned that I just didn’t have the chops to be a full-time comic. 

3. What ultimately led you to harness your comedic stylings to political subject matter? (Another way of asking this: What led you to become involved in conservative activism? What were the issues that brought you into the movement?)           

I missed doing comedy. I wanted to find another outlet for doing humor. I went through all the possibilities that one can explore when it comes to getting paid to be funny: becoming the town drunk, a Carney, selling my own plasma…ahhh, those were the days. 

Then I got a little more serious. I explored being a screenwriter, an author, a meth-lab owner…but I never followed through on anything. My ambition was trumped by my apathy.           

Then the election of 2008 happened. Right around that time, my cousin (Thomas LaDuke) started his blog–Duke over America. I thought he was nuts. Why would anyone want to blog? 

Then I got to thinking about it and I realized that a blog would be a great creative outlet for me. At the time I hadn’t seen many blogs devoted to humor/satire from a right wing perspective. So I started my first blog. I called it One Hour Martinizing. It seemed like a good name at the time. After a few months I decided that maybe it would be best to not use a trademarked name for my blog, so was born. 

Holding forth at the 2010 Smart Girl Summit!

4. You’re one of the first males who regularly attended the Smart Girl Summit. How do you reconcile this (prima facie) paradox, and how long have you been involved with Smart Girl Politics and how did it begin? 

LaDuke had a Smart Girl Politics badge on his site back in early 2009. I did some investigating and discovered that Smart Girl Politics is a fantastic organization. What started out as a simple Craigslist ad has turned into a 40,000 member strong non-profit that looks to “engage, educate and empower” conservative women. They also let guys into the group. What’s not to admire about that? 

SGP has also been a fantastic partner of FTR Radio. 

5. You’re an integral player to the fast-becoming-legendary From the Right (FTR) Radio Internet stream. How did that all come about? 

After I started One Hour Martinizing, I heard of a start-up online conservative talk radio station called RFC Radio. I contacted Elizabeth Crum, who was one of the 3 owners of RFC, and inquired about joining their team. She read my stuff and offered me a show. The Snark Factor Radio Program on RFC Radio was born March 14, 2009. 

We covered the first Smart Girl Summit and CPAC 2010 live. It was fantastic. But there came a point in the spring of 2010 when a few of us at RFC decided that we wanted to go in a different direction. So I, along with LaDuke, Melanie Hall, Paul Croteau, Mike Gay and Tom Reynolds formed FTR Radio. 

We acquired RFC Radio a month after our launch and the station has grown ever since. We have over 30 hosts from all over the country offering a wide variety of opinions.  It’s free to listen to FTR Radio; just hit us up at

And of course, The Snark Factor can be heard every Wednesday at 9PM Eastern time. Listen or the baby seal gets it. 

6. We know you aren’t exactly a raving fan of “Hey, Soul Sister”, by Train, but who ARE some of your favorite musical artists…as well as books, movies, foods and other miscellaneous categories? 

If Satan created a band for chicks and his goal was for that band to suck…he would have created Train. Train is to good music what Rebecca Black is to good music.        

My musical taste has changed over the years. I was a deadhead. Before Jerry Garcia died, I saw the Dead, Jimmy Buffett and Pink Floyd in the same week. I wish I could remember something about that week. But for now– my favorite band is Foo Fighters. I’m looking forward to seeing them live soon.

 The book that I would recommend post 9/11 is Price of Honor: Muslim Women Lift the Veil of Silence on the Islamic World, by Jan Goodwin. If you really want to know what militant Islam and Sharia Law are all about, this book is a must read. 

As for movies; there is only one movie…”Airplane!” All other movies are just cheap imitations of that classic film. Give me some smoked brisket on a bun, a Jack and Coke and “Airplane” and my evening is set. 

7. How would you explain to someone else what it means to be a conservative? 

I’d say having a desire to solve your own problems while having empathy for the plight of others–all the while seeking private sector solutions for the needs of the people who can‘t help themselves is what a good conservative should strive to achieve.   

8. Who are 3 people who have positively and meaningfully influenced the outlook you have on the world today? 

My parents (I will count them as one), Ronald Reagan and Dean Martin.

 My parents instilled in me a positive work ethic and an interest in politics. Growing up in the 1980’s and seeing the kind of leader that Reagan was, especially his aversion to the dependency that a nanny state government can create amongst its people, was very influential on my mindset. 

When I grow up, I want to be Dean Martin. He was the coolest guy in the room. Dean Martin never got rattled; maybe the booze had something to do with it? But there is something very admirable about a guy that will not rehearse, just show up and can just wing it brilliantly. 

9. How do you feel about the current field of Republican candidates for the Presidency in 2012 and does anyone intrigue you? 

I’m not excited about any of them. In my humble opinion, if you couldn’t beat John McCain for the nomination, then you should be disqualified…disqualified. 

I think the important thing to do at this time is not bitch and moan about the current crop of candidates. Just look at the pool of candidates that Democrats were looking at in 1992: Tom Harkin, Bob Kerry, Jerry Brown, Paul Tsongas and Bill Clinton. You think they were jumping for joy about Tom Freaking Harkin? In the end it worked out pretty well for them. Let’s stay patient.

10. What would you like to be doing for money in 10 years? 

Well by then, I hope to have my fifth meth lab opened up. The kids love meth. I’d like to have my own cologne; the tentative name for my fragrance is Brut. 

If that doesn’t work I hope to be a successful author. I’m currently working on my first book. It’s about my experiences as a California Highway Patrolman in the 1970’s. Still don’t have a title for it yet. But tomorrow is another day…


One thought on “Twitter Personality of the Week #37: 10 Questions for Fingers Malloy (@FingersMalloy)

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s